Reclaiming Holiday Spirit
When Holiday Spirituality Gets Lost Between The Stockings And Cookie Crumbs
Shopping, decorating, shopping, partying, traveling, and more shopping rule the holiday season. These frenzied activities get us in the holiday spirit, but the holiday spirituality can get lost between the stockings and cookie crumbs. The consumer culture is probably felt most by families with children around this time of year. It is fun, but also exhausting and expensive.
Religion, connection, reflection, tradition and celebration are all part of the holiday season that may have a different meaning for everyone, but I believe there are some universal values that can be woven into any holiday season. With a blended family of four children of different faiths, crazy schedules, and stuff galore, now more than ever, do I crave a little substance with my merry and bright.
My father started a tradition when I was young, and I lovingly carry it in this time of year. Each day, for the week leading up to Christmas, we carve out a few minutes to be together as a family and discuss, with intention, a different value. Dad wrote, and I still read (so does he, and many of the people this tradition has trickled down to), a short introduction to the topic, we light a candle on a very hard-to-find seven taper candelabra, and share our thoughts on the subject.
This simple tradition ensures that we take a few minutes every day to slow down and connect in a meaningful way. The values could be changed and redefined from family to family, though I stick to our family tradition. Our values are: ‘Remembering,’ ‘Hope,’ ‘Freedom,’ ‘Truth and Wisdom,’ ‘Light and Life, Death and Darkness,’ ‘Giving and Sharing,’ and, finally, ‘Love’ on Christmas Day. This time inspires great conversation and togetherness in the rushed holiday season.
The discussions evolve over the years as the kids get older, sometimes a friend or relative will join us either in person or by video chat. I remember the college days of phoning into my parents home (from outside of a bar, but this small chunk of family time took precedent over even my young adult rowdiness). On occasion, we are rushed and have to work to bring everyone together. Sometimes it’s a hassle. There may the occasional bribe involved for the kids. But we do so without fail. Sometimes the kids complain or squirm, as I did when I was young, but looking back these were treasured childhood moments that I hope to pass on.
I love the memories shared during the ‘Remembering’ candle, the aspirations of ‘Hope.’ The Christmas Eve ‘Giving and Sharing’ candle has morphed from a gentle lecture on manners to thoughtful insights from my now older children. Even the ‘Light and Life, Death and Darkness’ candle (which we snarkily refer to as the “bad candle”) is a reminder that we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good, and can learn and grow from both. We blow this one out, but its darkness is dwarfed by the light that surrounds it.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we have so much to do and see that it is easy to forget to be and feel. I am grateful that for a few moments each day, we can slow down, breath in the holiday spirit, and connect with each other. There is a sweet, simple power in the stillness. On Christmas Day, as we light the final candle for love, we leave all of them burning during the chaos of gift exchanges and elaborate meals, and my heart is warmed.
